This is the blog post I've been putting off. The one where I account for all this time gone by.
The trouble with putting things off is that while you're busy putting, more time trickles by. More seconds tick tock away, the weather changes..
.. the seasons breeze in and roar right through. And there you are...with more time on that scale to account for.
I can't help but wonder in a little part of me if my time has been well spent.
Did I do something worthy of telling?
Ten months. Ten.whole.fat.months.
The last post I wrote in August of last year told you about this change we'd been handed (military to civilian
life..jobless and moving with family)
That was a change that forced growth. It pushed us right out of comfort and right into this place of in between. We were in an "in between" place for about 4 of our months, without a job..and in one room to live in..all 6 of us. We are very very thankful for that one room. That room saw our family through the roughest times we've been through.
This would be where I think of what almost happened..the things God spared us from..the homelessness or foodlessness or the ultimate side effects of my husbands medications (we were medically released)..the dark places that God shone through and walked us through.
His footsteps are sometimes not where we want them to go..they seem too big and empty, so we have to keep our eyes on where they are leading us.
He is faithful to lead us to our promises.
If you know my husband and I personally, you know that my husband is a One Thousand% do-it-yourselfer. His dream has always been to be a farmer and live in the country. Wouldn't that be fun? 9 or so years ago, I was not on board with this sort of thinking...I wanted to live in the city and live a life of "normalcy". One day it dawned on me just
how very different Michael and I were and I said a prayer that I'll never forget: "God, this man is not going to change..and the life I would have without him is not a life I want
at all..so God..CHANGE ME. Help me to like the outdoors. Help me to live next to him one long and beautiful life." Every year God changed me...little by little...decision by decision..my wants in life were remolded.
So last year, five total months of downpour finally brought us to a new job. A new job brought us to a new place to live. And the new place brought us animals...to which my husband is now head farmer. In the country I am a livin'!
"We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness. " -David Weatherford
What have I created these past ten months, that is worthy of telling?
I've been building up little hearts.
Cooking up real and good nourishment.
Canceling out a voice that said I wasn't good enough.
Believing in this love of ours.
Dancing in the sunshine.
Embracing our home creamery.
Tending our flock.
Finding beauty in each sadness.
Knowing that in all of this, it's not me: He is enough.
He's been recreating this part of me that once was satisfied sitting by and dreaming..rebuilding some thinking and declaring me worthy of more.
And it's time to start fresh here with you, my dear 'ol blog.
I don't know that you'll be seeing a whole lot of paper or ink on here for a while. I know you'll be OK with this. I know you'll want to hear what I have to say..what more is fresh and gleaming with newness.. next Monday.