Monday, June 27, 2011

In Where I 'Splain Myself

Hello again, friends.

This is the blog post I've been putting off. The one where I account for all this time gone by.

The trouble with putting things off is that while you're busy putting, more time trickles by. More seconds tick tock away, the weather changes..

.. the seasons breeze in and roar right through. And there you are...with more time on that scale to account for.

I can't help but wonder in a little part of me if my time has been well spent.

Did I do something worthy of telling?

Ten months. Ten.whole.fat.months.

The last post I wrote in August of last year told you about this change we'd been handed (military to civilian

life..jobless and moving with family)

That was a change that forced growth. It pushed us right out of comfort and right into this place of in between. We were in an "in between" place for about 4 of our months, without a job..and in one room to live in..all 6 of us. We are very very thankful for that one room. That room saw our family through the roughest times we've been through.

This would be where I think of what almost happened..the things God spared us from..the homelessness or foodlessness or the ultimate side effects of my husbands medications (we were medically released)..the dark places that God shone through and walked us through.

His footsteps are sometimes not where we want them to go..they seem too big and empty, so we have to keep our eyes on where they are leading us.

He is faithful to lead us to our promises.

If you know my husband and I personally, you know that my husband is a One Thousand% do-it-yourselfer. His dream has always been to be a farmer and live in the country. Wouldn't that be fun? 9 or so years ago, I was not on board with this sort of thinking...I wanted to live in the city and live a life of "normalcy". One day it dawned on me just

how very different Michael and I were and I said a prayer that I'll never forget: "God, this man is not going to change..and the life I would have without him is not a life I want

at God..CHANGE ME. Help me to like the outdoors. Help me to live next to him one long and beautiful life." Every year God changed me...little by little...decision by wants in life were remolded.

So last year, five total months of downpour finally brought us to a new job. A new job brought us to a new place to live. And the new place brought us which my husband is now head farmer. In the country I am a livin'!

"We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness. " -David Weatherford

What have I created these past ten months, that is worthy of telling?

I've been building up little hearts.

Cooking up real and good nourishment.

Canceling out a voice that said I wasn't good enough.

Believing in this love of ours.

Dancing in the sunshine.

Embracing our home creamery.

Tending our flock.

Finding beauty in each sadness.

Knowing that in all of this, it's not me: He is enough.

He's been recreating this part of me that once was satisfied sitting by and dreaming..rebuilding some thinking and declaring me worthy of more.

And it's time to start fresh here with you, my dear 'ol blog.

I don't know that you'll be seeing a whole lot of paper or ink on here for a while. I know you'll be OK with this. I know you'll want to hear what I have to say..what more is fresh and gleaming with newness.. next Monday.

Hugs dearies!

P.S. Let's take note I entered not one smiley face in that post. kthanksbye


Susan Ritchie said...

Oh Bev! The tears are a flowin'! You are a beautiful woman of God, inside and out and I'm so blessed to know you and call you friend! I love that you make lemonade out of your lemons instead of sucking on the lemon! You are such an encourager! Thanks for the update. Love you! ((Hugs!))

ChristineCreations said...

Well beautiful lady, it's my prayer that God continues to bring restoration and hope to your precious family 100 fold over. What a truly tender and honest post. Blessings to all of you!

Jeni Allen said...

Sounds like you guys have a beautiful new start. Getting out of the Military is hard. We know, we just did it 6 years ago. I'm sure you will thrive in your new environment. Here's to fresh eggs!

Unknown said...

You my dear friend are beyond amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this very beautiful & amazing posts. ((HUGS)) to you darling.

szbacn1 said...

Your words and pictures are truly beautiful and I hope and pray that you continue to thrive in your special spot of beauty that you and your family have found. God bless you all!!!

Aunt Jane said...

Beautiful ~

Daleah said...

K... I'm a cryin... challenges can be beautiful things once you're on the other side of them. Thanks for shining some light in my day ... here's a smiley for ya :) :D
- Daleah

Angela said...

Hello, Bev! I was delighted to see your name in the inbox this morning! I was looking forward to a creative card and read about a beautiful creative journey instead. My heart melted when you talked about your prayer for change. Isn't it something when we ask God to change us, not them? Thank you for sharing. :)

Wendy Weixler said...

I just love you, friend!! What a lovely way to tell your story for the past (nearly) year ... sooo happy to hear about your happy family/happy life ... miss you, friend! :)

Audrey L said...

My darling Bev. You never cease to amaze me. Your strength & faith are beyond inspiring. I love you & your family so much. I cannot wait to read next we week. xoxo

Dina Kowal Creative said...

MWAH!!! Thanks for sharing your heart and hurts and HIM here! We have been through so many big family changes too, and it is those times where we yield ourselves to be changed that beautiful things happen we never ever thought possible. Hugs to you, sweetie!